Monday, June 04, 2007

Tarantino at SBI - IITM

Just today, I went to the SBI - State Bank of India, IIT Madras branch for some passbook related work. I needed a change of address to apply for a passport {next post} , and I saw the security guards carrying these huge rifles slung across their shoulders. I had wait for a few minutes to get my work done and my unstable, restless mind naturally started imagining scenarios. I should also tell you, in advance, that I had been re-watching Kill Bill II, that fantastic movie by Quentin Tarantino a hundred times as I do usually with most movies I like. So, I just wondered how the scene of this bank being robbed would be filmed by Quentin.

Chapter '0' - Robbery at the Indian Bad Service Bank.

Its a dark day and it is raining outside. There is a puddle in the mud just outside the bank. A small one and it reflects the SBI board upside down when suddenly, a brilliantly polished boot lands on it and walks past. Camera zoom out, and we see three guys impeccably clad in suits from Savile Row. All three are wearing black and all look almost exactly alike but not quite ( Imagine agents in The Matrix) . The guy walking in front has a small crack on his coolers which comes into focus as he turns to enter the building. Also the other two have two samurai swords which they are holding with their left hand to the back. Now they enter the bank one by one , the first one going straight to the counter. He pulls out two shining silver GLOCK pistols , holds it sideways simultaneously pointing it to the head of the woman at the counter and just holds it there . The other two men pull out their swords and simultaneously slice and dice the two guards. The main guy now talks to the lady, he says in a deep gruff voice - ' Excuse me for barging in on you like this miss, but you see I am in a terrible hurry. I dont quite like killing people but it turns out that it is the best past time when you are made to wait. You get where I am getting at ? So will you make me wait or fucking show me some green ? '

Now people shart shouting and running and the man, the main guy , shouts out loud - ' All you motherfuckers - Pardon the language - stay where you are and dont move unless you want to be squished like rotten tomatoes'. Just when he ends it, a girl standing near a display of fruits and vegetables, squishes a fine red tomato she is holding in her hand. Now at the far end the door opens and a guard enters. He realizes what is happening and suddenly finds that his rifle is not loaded. So he fishes out the bullet from the case and loads it into his gun, but he has been spotted and one of the samurai come rushing at him .. In slow motion, he aims the gun at the samurai making a full 90 degree sweep and fires. The camera follows the bullet and just before it hits the samurai he jumps. The bullet moves past the samurai and gives us a back view as he slices the guard's head off in one swift motion while still in the air. The main guy frowns and says to the lady at the counter - ' That, my young lady, is what happens when you try to be a hero.Your heads gets chopped off'.

He smiles and removes his glasses and we see that he has only one eye. At the place of the other, there is just empty space. She looks at him petrified and hands over the cash. ' Thank you', he says. 'The service at this bank is pretty fast. Perhaps, I should open an account here' and tilts his head, as he replaces the GLOCK pistols in his pockets and walks out. The other two men follow . He waits till they reach their car. A smashing new Audi A5 which also has a small crack in the right corner of its wind shield . The car's doors open . The main guy sits
at the back while his minions sit forward and they vroom away, leaving a trail of flying leaves in their wake.



vibha said...

Post after a long time. Nicely written. Wow i made the first comment.

The Solitary Reaper said...

Aha! stud one there.. long time and nice return.. so u can make suggestions for movies for me now :)

Harish Suryanarayana said...

@ vibha - Yes .. A long time. Thanks

@swap - Sure I can. Have seen so many after the endsems [:)]

Freespirit said...

I saw Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction last sem..everything you wrote seems way too familiar..but instead of saying the routine awesome..will say hehe..can imagine the old ladies at SBI all petrified and all (I hate the branch on campus)..guess that's an awesome in itself.

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

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