Friday, June 29, 2007

25 things I want to do/experience before I die

25. I want to see loved ones get genuinely teary eyed when I achieve what I plan to.

24. I want to be able to spend a whole night camping in some remote place with my special one.

23. I want to give a full fledged Carnatic concert to family and friends.

22. I wish to own a grand piano and be able to play it well enough to impress myself.

21. I want to go sky diving. Feel gravity. Feel the earth pulling me towards her.

20. I want my first kiss to feel magically divine.

19. I want to feel achievement again. JEE result time was the only time I really felt exhilaration. I want that feeling once more at least.

18. I want to feel my six pack abs. I want her to feel my six pack abs.

17. I want to see my mom and dad tension free, leading a carefree life.

16. I want to be my sister's kid's favourite uncle. *

15. I wish to be able get out of bed when I feel like. This has been the toughest thing for me.

14. I want to sketch and paint. I want to create works of art which make people think.

13. I want to speak French and Sanskrit. Both languages totally kick ass.

12. I want to get high. Once. Just to see what my strange little mind can conjure. My dreams are weird enough.

11. I want to gift my sis something invaluable when she least expects it .

And thats all I can think of for now.. Strange ! I thought I could hit 25 peacefully !!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Creepy !

Imagine you are sitting at the end of a dark corridor. You are on a rocking chair and the only light visible is a tubelight at the far end and even that flickers, throwing waves of light suddenly and taking it away with equal ease. You cannot move and are somehow stuck to the rocking chair. It is rocking slowly, to and fro, to and fro.The wind is blowing slowly but is strong enough to make an uneasy Shhhing sound as it weaves its way past the trees. The breeze is unusually cold. And then, you listen to the soundtrack of Rosemary's baby !!

Creepy ! ! !

PS: I first listened to this soundtrack in mid-afternoon and still got creeped out. How do they come up with such beautiful expressions of emotion?

Thursday, June 21, 2007


There is dirt in my mind,
Dirt, like that grease stain
on a pure white shirt
It is pure white no more,
however hard I scrub.
It is just there, ugly
hurting me, hurting itself
for I might give up
and rather than wear it,
throw it away.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

My first music class in 7 years !

Retro Mode:

Class VI to Class IX - Harish! Why he is the lead singer of the school's choir team.
Class X - Harish! He was the lead singer of the school's choir team.

It was during that transitory period in class X. You are not too sure what is happening around you.
And then suddenly you cannot sing anymore. My voice broke when I was in class X and it was then that I stopped learning Carnatic Music. Biggest mistake of my life. Now I am going to set things right again. I had my first class and after hearing me sing, my new guru decided to start me off on the Varnams. Totally awesome result ! Did not want to do the Swarajathis again. I am so happy

Year V - IITM : Harish has started learning music again !

Sunday, June 17, 2007


Well, today I had a spiritual moment. A beautiful beautiful moment which seemed to last forever. And it came out of the blue. After a nice dinner - paruppu podi saadam, my favourite, I cycled back to my room and suddenly I wanted to to listen to Whisperings. My favourite internet radio station. The weather here in Chennai was surprisingly perfect, cool breeze, trees swaying and making their shhhhhhes. Then as the soulful notes of a tune played in my room, all suddenly became quiet. No breeze, no note and then just one or two perfect notes slowly. It was beautiful! I sat there stunned by the absolute pure radiance of the moment. It is these type of experiences which add some meaning to this confusing life, giving us hope of something higher, of beauty and peace, of God.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Dirty World

I live in my world.
Let me live and dream
Of butterflies and sweet sunshine
Of buns filled with luscious cream

Why do you want to ruin
This illusion, though not true
By images of gruesome murder
By people with blood not red, but blue

I am but a speck of dust
With the power to imagine
That I am greater than myself
That its paradise I am in.

But you prove to me
Again and again, you perverts
You shove your dirty images
You hit me where it hurts

Get away from me! dirty world
I puke when I see the ugliness
Let me make my own movie
Let me live in my senselessness


Friday, June 15, 2007

Going from a 7 to a 10

*self help* I know, I know .Most of you reading this would stop reading after the first two words. But this guy here does give some real sound advice. I am stuck at a very very comfortable 7. I am mediocre in many of the things that I do. I realize that and I want to change. Doing some motivational reading can help when you are stuck. Check out Steve Pavlina.

Saturday, June 09, 2007


You drive me crazy
My love, is not pure clarity insanity as well ?
I do not know why we are here
I do not know what is good and what is bad.
All I know, is that I love you
And today I hold your hand as it moves
millions of tiny random motions over mine
And as your breath caresses my chest
All boundaries are shattered, my love
I know, for sure,without any doubt
That you exist and I exist
And we, are one.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Tarantino at SBI - IITM

Just today, I went to the SBI - State Bank of India, IIT Madras branch for some passbook related work. I needed a change of address to apply for a passport {next post} , and I saw the security guards carrying these huge rifles slung across their shoulders. I had wait for a few minutes to get my work done and my unstable, restless mind naturally started imagining scenarios. I should also tell you, in advance, that I had been re-watching Kill Bill II, that fantastic movie by Quentin Tarantino a hundred times as I do usually with most movies I like. So, I just wondered how the scene of this bank being robbed would be filmed by Quentin.

Chapter '0' - Robbery at the Indian Bad Service Bank.

Its a dark day and it is raining outside. There is a puddle in the mud just outside the bank. A small one and it reflects the SBI board upside down when suddenly, a brilliantly polished boot lands on it and walks past. Camera zoom out, and we see three guys impeccably clad in suits from Savile Row. All three are wearing black and all look almost exactly alike but not quite ( Imagine agents in The Matrix) . The guy walking in front has a small crack on his coolers which comes into focus as he turns to enter the building. Also the other two have two samurai swords which they are holding with their left hand to the back. Now they enter the bank one by one , the first one going straight to the counter. He pulls out two shining silver GLOCK pistols , holds it sideways simultaneously pointing it to the head of the woman at the counter and just holds it there . The other two men pull out their swords and simultaneously slice and dice the two guards. The main guy now talks to the lady, he says in a deep gruff voice - ' Excuse me for barging in on you like this miss, but you see I am in a terrible hurry. I dont quite like killing people but it turns out that it is the best past time when you are made to wait. You get where I am getting at ? So will you make me wait or fucking show me some green ? '

Now people shart shouting and running and the man, the main guy , shouts out loud - ' All you motherfuckers - Pardon the language - stay where you are and dont move unless you want to be squished like rotten tomatoes'. Just when he ends it, a girl standing near a display of fruits and vegetables, squishes a fine red tomato she is holding in her hand. Now at the far end the door opens and a guard enters. He realizes what is happening and suddenly finds that his rifle is not loaded. So he fishes out the bullet from the case and loads it into his gun, but he has been spotted and one of the samurai come rushing at him .. In slow motion, he aims the gun at the samurai making a full 90 degree sweep and fires. The camera follows the bullet and just before it hits the samurai he jumps. The bullet moves past the samurai and gives us a back view as he slices the guard's head off in one swift motion while still in the air. The main guy frowns and says to the lady at the counter - ' That, my young lady, is what happens when you try to be a hero.Your heads gets chopped off'.

He smiles and removes his glasses and we see that he has only one eye. At the place of the other, there is just empty space. She looks at him petrified and hands over the cash. ' Thank you', he says. 'The service at this bank is pretty fast. Perhaps, I should open an account here' and tilts his head, as he replaces the GLOCK pistols in his pockets and walks out. The other two men follow . He waits till they reach their car. A smashing new Audi A5 which also has a small crack in the right corner of its wind shield . The car's doors open . The main guy sits
at the back while his minions sit forward and they vroom away, leaving a trail of flying leaves in their wake.