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A very good friend of mine, an inspiration to me, suggested I do this to keep my desperation in check. 

1) Remind yourself what you are here for. 

I am here to obtain an advanced degree in Electrical Engineering, to learn more and to explore the various fantastic technological developments in my field which in many ways has contributed to the industrial revolution. Man, in his endeavour to create and understand is capable of so much more ! I should focus on learning and developing skills that will help me push the boundaries of science further and understand the intricacies of the universe. 

2) Remind yourself what your goals and missions are. 

My long term goal is this:  I want to become a professor at IIT Madras by the time I am 45 with a big enough bank balance that I wont need the salary to support myself anymore. 

My short term goal is this: I want to score atleast a 90% in my qualifying exam coming up this August. 

My really short term goal is this: Finish grading the exams of ECE321 for which I am the TA and give a smashing good presentation as a fitting finale to my FEA class.  

3) Remember that your family is waiting for you to get back with a PhD. 

I remember. I hope to live up to their expectations. I have set a decent precedent for myself and now should work to live up and exceed their expectations. 

Thanks Kmap for the help. Just writing this down helped. I am glad I pinged you and asked for your advice.

Poetic Wish

Its the perfect time for poetry.
I have not done anything
for the last three days
in hope of regaining my creativity

The poet can sleep for days on end
and claim that he is thinking
he is working
and the claim is true
for what is a poet
but a person trying to describe his own reflection
looking at a mirror stained by his perception

No doubt what he writes makes sense
only to him and to people like him
and to those who think it makes sense
because they see a shadow and think it is theirs

And if the poet succeeds in making fools
of thousands and thousands
he can make a living
and claim to be above all and intellectual
and people will worship him and put him
on a tall pedestal and the girls
will woo him and sleep with him
and slowly destroy his ability to
delude the world and himself that he is great.

And me, in writing this poem
am delusional
am crazy
am pure ennui
and hope this will make some girl
want to sleep with me.

by Harish Suryanarayana

PS: Inspired by Charles Bukowski's poetry

The Gateway to the West

I had an amazing trip to St. Louis. I am particularly proud of this photograph I took of the Gateway Arch. It is definitely worth visiting. It is a fantastic monument representing the intersection of the competence of the engineer and the imagination of the architect.   

A wish

I wish I could look at myself through someone else's eyes. It can make for a rather interesting, even frightening albeit definitely illuminating experience.