Candlelight Contemplation

Postits

Jaane Woh Kaise - Pyaasa

I believe this blog, my little home on the web, is sort of a representation of myself. I have written about music here, but have not to date uploaded my voice. Well, here goes. :)

The song that I'll be singing today is one of those absolute pathos filled classics of S D Burman sir. His music has moved and will continue to influence generations of Hindi music lovers. The song is from the movie Pyaasa which by itself is another masterpiece by Guru Dutt. Ill provide a translation, though not literal, of what I feel about the meaning of the song.

The song : Jaane Woh Kaise
The movie : Pyaasa
Composer : S D Burman
Lyricist : Sahir Ludhianvi
Original Singer: Hemant Kumar

Please click on the widget to listen to me singing this song.

Jaane Woh Kaise_Py...

Jaane Woh Kaise Log The Jinke Pyar Ko Pyar Mila
Humne To Jab Kaliyaan Maangi Kaaton Ka Haar Mila

( I wonder how many people exist who have received love for their love.
When I asked for flowers, I received a garland of thorns )

Khushiyon Ki manzil Dhoondhi tho Gham Ki Gard Mili
Chaahat Ke nagme Chaahe tho Aahe Sard Mili
Dil Ke Bhoj Ko Dugna Kar Gaya Jo Gham haar mila
Humne To Jab Kaliyaan Maangi Kaanton Ka Haar Mila ..

( I searched for happiness and found sorrow
I wanted moments of longing and obtained pain
The weight in my heart has been doubled, I have faced such a plaintive defeat
When I asked for flowers, I received a garland of thorns .. )

Bichhad Gayaa Har Saathi Dekar Pal Do Pal Ka Saath
Kisko Phursat Hai Jo Thaame Deewanon Ka Haath
Humko Apna Saaya Tak Aqsar Bezaar Mila
Humne To Jab Kaliyaan Maangi, Kaanton Ka Haar Mila ..

(Every friend has left me after giving me company for a few moments 
Who has the time to comfort a lover ? 
Even my shadow seems apathetic to my state
When I asked for flowers, I received a garland of thorns .. )

Isko Hi Jeena Kehte Hain To Yunhi Ji Lenge
Uf Na Karenge Lab See Lenge Aansoo Pee Lenge
Gham Se Ab Ghabraana Kaisa Gham Sau Baar Mila
Humne To Jab...

( If this is what they call living, then we will live like this
We won't sigh, we will sew our lips together, we will drink our tears
I am no longer worried about sorrow, I have seen it a hundred times
When I asked for flowers, I received a garland of thorns .. )

Please do let me know if you liked it :)


PS: Discovered that the above version has some faults in the lyrics. The actual lyrics ( so as to do justice to Ludhianvi sahab ) can perhaps be found here.

The next Wolverine.

The Marriage

He stood at the corner of the room, in his coat and tie and neatly combed hair. His polished shoe, almost perfect, with just a small white smudge on the side; the wedding hall had just been renovated. His composure and smile were a perfect mask, impenetrable, perfected over years of restraint, years and years of wanting to do the right thing, and doing it. She was getting married today. He tried to hold back the contempt he felt towards the bridegroom, towards the scores of relatives, some whom he knew some whom he did not, contempt towards his friends and hers, who were talking about the most pointless of matters, contempt towards the insect which was buzzing around the cameraman's light. Yet he stood there smiling. Like he should. Like what was expected of him. One more day, he thought. One more lifetime. He can take the beating.

3 years had passed since they first met. It was fantastic in the beginning. It always usually is. They talked for hours. They shared music. They complained about the sad state of affairs in the country and why it is impossible to make progress under a corrupt oligarchy. And then he had to leave. He had no choice but to. And a decision had to be made. It was not the most cordial parting but he knew he had to stop thinking about her. Ill not take you through the boring details of human stupidity. Most of us have experienced it and know what happens when one is frustrated, especially in matters of affection and reciprocation. He wanted a little bit more involvement from her and she was reluctant to concede even that little bit. And so they stopped talking and that was that.

Things were fine till he received that bloody wedding invitation. Perhaps, there is some profound truth in that statement in the Thomas Crown Affair - 'People do not realise what they have till its gone'. Well gone it was and realise he did. But he wanted to attend the wedding. He wanted to see her. He wanted to see if there was even one single scrap of feeling, a fleeting vestige of emotion. Something he could use to berate himself in that absolute self criticizing mood he sometimes got into. He knew he would not get it. She was blissful and happy. "Screw her", he thought but that was a thought he could not hold. His smile had slowly transformed into a smirk without his knowledge like how sometimes it is evening and suddenly it is night. He corrected himself and put his smile back on. It was difficult but it had to be done.

She was looking at him from the wedding platform. Her eyes were on him. "Did she see that?", he thought and quickly flashed a smile. "Congratulations", he whispered with exaggerated stress so that she could read his lips from where she was."Thank you", she whispered back as is customary and looked away. Some other friend had come to convey her bloody wishes. He was a masochist but he was not suicidal. So he dusted his shoes and having enjoyed enough of his share of mental torture walked away.

The Purse

"Where is my wallet?" I wondered. It should be safely nestled in the left pocket of my pants, but it isn't. Well, I am not sure sure it isn't there. I am just too lazy to get up from my berth to check. I don't want to be sure anyway. I would then have nothing to to worry about and my manic self-absorbed imagination which is usually my only friend, would start irritating me. So, I lay on my berth, pondering,whether my purse, my wonderful brown leather purse, with its boring contents, was actually in my pocket. "Was my purse really there?" My concentration was abruptly broken, my train of thought, derailed by a gentle tap on my shoulder."You dropped your purse", she smiled.In one masterstroke, she managed to dispel my worry and add my fiendish friend, my imagination to my already cramped berth.

I am ready

He sat on the wall and gazed at the sky. Flashes of lightning lit up random aggregations of cloud, moving too fast to care.The wind blew by callously, banging windows and doors. The trees bent one after the other, as if their master were walking on the long corridors of the hostel. And in all this tension, and movement and chaos, he sat there, lonely, on the wall, by the storm and smiled. He had finished his journey.It took him all of 5 years. He looked into the storm that was brewing, muttering to himself words that the wind would carry. 'I am ready'.

Alone

Late evening.. sunset
I drove towards the sea
the vehicles that passed by me
cast momentary shadows...
only momentary...

To Purdue - With joy and expectation

I am filled with pleasure and sweet exhilaration to inform you that I have been recommended for admission for a PhD at the School of Electrical and Computer Sciences Engineering at Purdue University, West Lafayette with Teaching Assistantship.

This feels like a dream come true. I just threw a stone in the dark, hoping it will hit something and I found a pot of gold ! I believe my decent scores in the GRE ( 1510 /1600 ) and TOEFL ( 116/120 ) helped me in obtaining the Teaching Assistantship. Well, what else can I say .. I am the man [:)] .

My first publication !

My haiku have been published in the World Haiku Review in the haiku of merit. My second literary achievement after the Saarang 2006 Creative Writing crack. I feel like blowing my own trumpet a little, so please don't mind :) . The link to the World Haiku Club's review of the conference I attended is given below.

Haiku of Merit at the WHC

Many haiku above are brilliant, especially the award winning haiku by Kameshwar - has a true Zen ring to it. All poets were asked to submit three haiku for consideration in the contest. I am glad that all the three haiku submitted by me have made it to the top 20 ! Here are the haiku that made it.

---------------------
still winter night
the wind chimes tinkle
as I close the door
-------------------------
constipated baby ~
after an hour in the toilet
a smile
-------------------------
large Gulmohar tree
I stop to see an iora
it flies away
---------------------

by Harish Suryanarayana [ All rights reserved ]

PS: An iora is a small yellow bird. Any comments on my work are welcome.

Her

How can I tell you about her
Being a mere mortal,
my senses are not enough
to take in the expanse of her beauty
Lost in her tousled black hair
for days and days
I search for salvation
And then a word from her
and I am lost again
in the sweetness of her voice
Why does she tease me like this ?
Like a fantastic poem,
every time I meet her
she is different, or is it me ?
And I spend all my time
trying to figure out her puzzles
imaginary problems with no solution
while she spends her days in bliss
Every night, before I sleep
I only hope she knows.
I only hope she knows.

Anguish

My confusion has become a joke
They are drawing their swords
Ready to swiftly finish me
Once I put down my armour
I am not normal
I am not ordinary
And I will not ever be
I loathe these words
I loathe what they make you
You are just like anyone else !
What can be further from the truth
When the mind wants to suffer
Needs to feel pain
It will invent its own excuses
And force you to sleep and cry.

-

two cycles only
in desolate cycle stand
leaning on each other

Harish Suryanarayana

Your smile

The pitter patter of everyday life,
a rainbow fills my heart,
as your lips part and you smile.

- Harish Suryanarayana

santa barbara, ca

santa barbara, ca
Originally uploaded by .Arun

Reminds me of the novel Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach. It is a must read and one of my favourites. This moment has been captured ever so beautifully by Arun. The yellow hues are an all time favourite for me and Arun manages to get them perfect in this picture !

New Year Resolution Post

This year is going to be one fantastic rollercoaster ride ! Adrenalin all the way ! Atleast I hope so :|
So here are my totally unrealistic, hyperbolic aims for 2008.

1) Academics - One IEEE journal paper out of my final year dual degree project.
2) Music a) Be able to perform at least 10 songs on my out-of-the-world Yamaha PSR295 synthesizer.
3) Music b) Sing well enough to please my Carnatic music teacher mami. And practice everyday.
4) Mind Maintenance a) Write regularly and more importantly write well. Update blog regularly :)
5) Mind Maintenance b) Read at least one novel a month.
6) Body - Reduce the slowly growing spherical aberration in my abdominal area to a plane.
7) Sports - Play table-tennis and chess at least twice a week.
8) Crib - Stop cribbing about not having a love life ;) .

8 aims for 2008 ! Go Harish !

Happy New Year everyone !!! 

You

Time drifts by
flotsam on a slow river
nowhere to go, nothing to achieve
existing to exist.

My soul is hungry
depleted and lonely
A single tree facing
a vehement storm
my leaves fall away
one by one.

The sunset
a distant horizon
and all I can do
is sit and think
about you.

- Harish Suryanarayana.

Musings in desperation

-----------------------
In deep sleep
her hand touches my lip
a shiver
-----------------------
distant thoughts
I hug her pillow
smell of jasmine
-----------------------
intertwined hands
many waves
one golden moon
-----------------------
Harish Suryanarayana

Jai Hind

Its a bittersweet symphony, this life ...

This post is about this fantastic fantastic song by The Verve - "Bittersweet Symphony". Before continuing, I would urge you to have a look at the video.

Now that you have seen it, and enjoyed it, if you paid enough attention, you will observe that it is a beautiful commentary on how to live your life. In the beginning of the video, Richard Ashcroft looks up, a small prayer to the Almighty before he begins his journey. And then he starts walking and does not stop. This is a plea for persistence. Irrespective of what comes your way, once you decide on something, you keep going. Some people will bar your way, some move away and few more create trouble. What is important is that you keep going without losing steam. The masterstroke is when the car goes by and he looks at his reflection. This is to indicate that sometimes when you have to stop, use the time for introspection and then keep going. If you can just do that, if you have the will and the tenacity to follow through, people will automatically notice you and follow you. You can be an inspiration in this bittersweet symphony called life.